Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
