My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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