hotel room ftw
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
where are my pants?
in the oven.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
