come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize