3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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