Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
