he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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