16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
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