I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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