Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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