Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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