no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
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