fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize