You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
