i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Randomize
