I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
