I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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