Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
