Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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