Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
