Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Randomize
