SEEEEXXX PLEASE
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize