bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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