sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
did i just pee glitter
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
