the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
