this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize