things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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