I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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