Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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