what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Randomize
