According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
i drank out of a bidet.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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