just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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