I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
