rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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