:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
