IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
