omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize