Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
