Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
