I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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