your thong is hanging out like whoa
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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