i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm sobbing to NWA
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
