a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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