they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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