So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I'm too high and old for this...
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
