that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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