I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
