He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
