so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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