i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
