She just used a chaser for red wine.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
