Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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