I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
