Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
