i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Randomize
