Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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