You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize