yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
