I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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