why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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