triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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